Thursday, November 30, 2006

PLAY TUSK!

It's UCLA week...which means it is time to Play Tusk non-stop for the entire week. So here goes...this version coming from the TMB's performance at the Grammy's with Fleetwood Mac! Fight on! U-C-L-A Sucks!

Fight on! UCLA

Here is a clip from a UCLA football game...at the end of which some bRuin fans throw up some spectacular "Fight on!" signs. Welcome to good side, bRuins! Fight on!

Monday, November 27, 2006

Only In The SEC

This week's version of "Only in the SEC" brings us a story of good ol' frat hazing...Southern style. A little more than a week ago, police found a goat in the basement of an LSU frat house after getting tips of Initiation Night violations. In honor of fair storytelling, we will report that the frat claims the goat is their national mascot. Admittedly, a goat is probably not worse than a dead horse - but this frat is still on Double Secret Probation until further notice.

Really? A Goat?!?



Thursday, November 23, 2006

Random Photoshop Work of the Week

The Ghost of "Touchdown Leinart" helped protect the Trojans in South Bend last year.

Rudy Was Offsides!

It's Notre Dame week...which means it's time to rag on the Irish. Here's a few of my favorite Domer jokes from over the years...

What do Notre Dame and marijuna have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.



What do you call a 200-pound Notre Dame cheerleader?
Anorexic.

Why was Jesus not born in South Bend?
Nobody could find Three Wise Men or a Virgin.



Why did OJ Simpson go to South Bend after "killing" his wife?
Notre Dame is the last place anyone would look for a football player.



If you have any other good ones...just post them in the comment section. If they're good enough, I'll add them to the list.

Fight on and BEAT THE IRRRRRRRRISH!=

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Fight on! BEAT CAL!

It's Cal week, the Pac 10 Championship is on the line. Here is a video to remember the last time Cal came in to the Coliseum with a chance to win the Pac 10 and ruin SC's title hopes.

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Play Tusk! Top 25

1. Ohio State
2. Michigan
3. Southern California
4. Florida
5. Louisiana State
6. Notre Dame
7. Rutgers
8. West Virginia
9. Texas
10. Arkansas
11. Boise State
12. Auburn
13. Louisville
14. Wisconsin
15. California
16. Georgia Tech
17. Oklahoma
18. Wake Forest
19. Virginia Tech
20. Maryland
21. Tennessee
22. Nebraska
23. Boston College
24. Clemson
25. Brigham Young

The Sunday Hangover

The Game of the Century is now set for next week in Columbus. Meeechigan and THE Ohio State both managed to stay focused enough to stay undefeated - and now the nation will be treated to a #1 v. #2 game in one of the best rivalry games in the country. Thanks to upset losses by Louisville, Auburn and Texas the Trojans are back in the driver's seat to play in Glendale - with Urban Meyer and the Gators wondering about the computers (Ask 2003 USC or 2004 Auburn how that feels). The Trojans, however, have a gauntlet ahead of them with Cal, Notre Dame and the pesky cross-town bRuins in the next three weeks. This should (continue) to be a great November. This is why we all watch college football!

Best Win: Rutgers d. Louisville
For the second straight week, the Thursday night game featured a Big East team winning the "biggest game in the history of the program." And what a great win it was for Greg Schiano and the Scarlet Knights. Do they deserve a title shot if they run the table? Probably. But they wont get it. They will, however, earn the respect of the college football world - which is saying a lot considering they were the laughing stock of the nation just a few short years ago.

Worst Loss: Georgia d. Auburn
This is the same Georgia team that lost to Kentucky last week. As in, the Kentucky "When does basketball start?" Wildcats. Why is it that Tuberville's team always seems to be looking toward the future? Well, when the head coach is constantly making public statements about the current BCS Standings it is easy to figure out why this team seems to lack focus for the "lull" games. Maybe it is a hangover from the 2004 season, but Tuberville needs to get his team to starting winning games and stop worrying about the rankings.

Biggest Upset: Arizona d. California
Well, if Tommy Tuberville is not elligible for the "Tommy Tuberville Award For Looking Past a Team", than Jeff Tedford wins it this week. With a potentially HUGE game with the Trojans next Saturday, the Bears waltzed into the desert with one loss on their record, and limped out with two. Mike Stoops seems to be making these ambushes a yearly occurance, and dont be surprised if the 'Cats start winning much more often in the years to come.

Best Play: Florida's Jarvis Moss Blocks FG To Beat The Gamecocks
This play not only won the game against the Ol' Ballcoach, but keeps the Gators in contention for the title. Although they are currently #4 in the BCS, a lot can happen between now and then. Moss just helped to keep the Gator's travel plans up in the air.

Worst Play: Louisville Offsides on FG Attempt
I understand that the kid is trying to make a play...but offsides? Seriously. Well, Louisville is now out of the title picture and Rutgers (RUTGERS!!!) is still undefeated. Just a terrible mental mistake that cost his team the game. Granted, overtime on the road is tough - but the Knights' confidence would have taken a shot with that miss.

Images of the Day:
#1 Ohio State vs. #2 Michigan - Let's Play Some Football


Gators.........WIN!


Honoring a Fallen Teammate: RIP Bryan Pata

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Friday Tailgate

Play Tusk! Picks Against the Spread
Record: 21-19 (4-6)

Game 1: Tennessee +6.5 @ Arkansas
Winner: Tennessee

Game 2: Nebraska PICK 'EM @ Texas A&M
Winner: Texas A&M

Game 3: South Carolina +13 @ Florida
Winner: South Carolina

Game 4: Texas Tech +9 @ Oklahoma
Winner: Oklahoma

Game 5: Georgia +13 @ Auburn
Winner: Auburn

Hometown Teams

Go U Northwestern! Ohio State -23.5 @ Northwestern
Winner: Northwestern

Shoulder to Shoulder! Iowa State +8 @ Colorado
Winner: Colorado

Fight on! Oregon +8.5 @ USC
Winner: USC

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Game of the Week: Oregon @ USC
Loser is done in the Pac 10, and heading to El Paso in December. This game will go a long way towards determining standings at the end of the season.

Upset Watch: South Carolina @ Florida
Hard to bet against the Ol' Ballcoach with this much motivation. Florida should win this, but it would not surprise me if Spurrier worked his magic for an upset in the Swamp.

Heisman Watch: Louisville @ Rutgers
Ray Rice forces his was into Heisman contention with his inspired performance against Louisville on Friday. I still don't think anyone can steal the Heisman from Troy Smith if the Buckeyes beat Michigan.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Play Tusk! Reachers 1000 Visitors

We did it! We reached 1000 visitors! This "great" milestone was reached earlier this week, so to celebrate we will....PLAY TUSK! Just remember...U-C-L-A SUCKS! Fight on!

Monday, November 06, 2006

The Albert Haynesworth School of Cheapshots

Here, Oregon's Dante Rosario (Senior TE) is seen pulling a page from the book of Albert Haynesworth (and/or Marcus Vick) with this cheapshot against Cal. This is what we are up against this week, Trojans, watch out!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Fan Law

Here is a list of Laws that all fans of College Football should abide by while attending games:

Fan Law #1: Do Not Create a Sign Just To Get on TV

(^^^ Not acceptable ^^^)
This rules includes any sign that shamefully displays "ESPN" (or FSN, ABC, CBS, etc) in an effort to get on TV. You are there to watch the game and cheer for your team - making SportsCenter highlights for half a second is not worth degrading yourself with that sign.


Fan Law #2 Do Not Attend the Game in a Costume

(^^^ Not acceptable ^^^)
No matter the Holiday, it is unacceptable to attend a sporting event dressed as Santa, Spiderman or even a Gorilla. Everyone already knows what Holiday it is - we do not need your obnoxious get-up to remind us. (Note: Exceptions to this rule made be made for women - but the costume better be HOT.)

(^^^ Acceptable!!! ^^^)


Fan Law #3 Do Not Sit in the Student Section

Student sections are explicity for standing and yelling. If you do not want to adhere to these rules than go home. Anybody asking fellow students to sit "down in front" shall be kicked in the face. This rule applies to the entire stadium on key plays.(Note: The LONE exception to this rule is halftime - NOT quarter breaks - just halftime.)


Fan Law #4 Body Painting Rules

4A. The fatest kid in the group must be the "O". If their is no "O" in the name of your school - the fat kid is not allowed to paint. Sorry. Here is an example of why this rule must be in place...

4B. The body painting group must travel as a group - we do not want to see "GO ROJANS!" in the front row because the "T" has a small bladder.
4C. If you are going to paint, you must get front row seats. Otherwise you are just obnoxious - and you message could be hard to read or obstructed by fans in front of you.


Fan Law #5 Wear Your Team's Color (Wear Cardinal!)
This means no white, no alternate jerseys (like the gold ones sold in the USC bookstore...those are embarrasing). You do not need to stand out when the cameras pan across the crowd - the goal here is unity within a fanbase. An example of a school that does this well is down in Rocky Top - Tennessee fans at Neyland Stadium make sure the world knows that their color is puke orange.

(Good job Vols!)


Fan Law #6 Do Not Start a Fire(Insert Coach Name Here).com Website and Promote it at a Game
Gameday is all about the players and students. Do not rain on their parade by being that old, disgruntled alum that everyone tries to ignore. These kids have worked their asses off all week preparing for this game - show them some respect and cheer your ass off.

Addendum: This rule now includes not booing - players or coaches - at a game.

Fan Law #7 Do Not Let Jenn Sterger in the Front of Your Student Section

Your school should have at least some coeds that are at least at hot as this publicity hound. Replace her (and her fake....spirit) with real girls that actually go to your school. And guys, she isnt going to sleep with you because you give her your seat.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

The Sunday Hangover

The Trojans are back, and still in control of their own (Rose Bowl) destiny. However, the three teams that the Trojans will face in the next three weeks looked stellar, with Oregon, Notre Dame and Cal all winning big. Michigan and Ohio State both win by just one possession - but in Novemeber, winning is winning. Speaking of winning - the Gators hang on against Vandy - and clinch a spot in the SEC title game. If Florida wins out, they have a legitimate argument for a spot in the national title game (along with Louisville, USC, Cal, Texas, Auburn, Ohio State, Michigan and Notre Dame). The two teams off this list that can avoid mistakes from here on out will be in Glendale come January.

Best Win: Louisville d. West Virginia
Louisville proved that they are for real - at least until they play undefeated Rutgers this week. The winner of this game would have the inside track to the national title game - and Louisville simply outplayed a West Virginia team that experts thought would dominate.

Worst Loss: Maryland d. Clemson
Since beating Georgia Tech a few weeks ago, and doing so in convincing fashion, the Tigers have simply choked - losing to unranked (at the time) Virginia Tech and Maryland. The pressure of late season games seems to have caught up with this young Clemson squad. The Tigers have almost no shot at playing for an ACC title - this season's hopes are all but gone for a once promising team.

Biggest Upset: Arizona d. Washington State
The Cougs had finally cracked the top 25 - and then, like always - they Coug'd It. Arizona is a decent team - but Washington State had been rolling and they had the Cats at home! Arizona could soon be a force in the Pac 10 if they continue their steady improvement under (Mike) Stoops.

Best Play: Desean Jackson Punt Return
Desean Jackson's punt return late in the 3rd quarter sealed the victory against the rival Bruins, and helps to set up a mammoth matchup with LA's other team in two weeks - as long as the Trojans and Bears can get it done this week against the Ducks and Wildcats. This was Desean's third punt return touchdown this year - and his explosiveness could be a huge factor on the 18th in the Coliseum.

Worst Play: Joe Pa's Knee Injury
79-year-old Joe Paterno took a helmet to his left knee in a collision that would leave most top athletes with 9-months of recovery. Joe Pa tried to tough it out, but was clearly in too much pain to even stand. I wish this great coach the best of luck in recovery from a pretty devasting injury.

Images of the Day:

Early Doucet and the Bayou Bengals Drop Tennessee in Rocky Top


McFadden and The Hogs Continue to Win


Fade to Black: Louisville in the Title Hunt After Upsetting the 'Eers

Play Tusk! Top 25

1. Ohio State
2. Michigan
3. Louisville
4. Texas
5. Auburn
6. Florida
7. Southern California
8. Louisiana State
9. California
10. West Virginia
11. Notre Dame
12. Tennessee
13. Boise State
14. Rutgers
15. Arkansas
16. Georgia Tech
17. Oklahoma
18. Wisconsin
19. Wake Forest
20. Oregon
21. Virginia Tech
22. Nebraska
23. Maryland
24. Boston College
25. Clemson

Friday, November 03, 2006

The Friday Tailgate

Play Tusk! Picks Against the Spread
Record: 17-15 (4-6)

Game 1: LSU -4.5 @ Tennessee
Winner: Tennessee

Game 2: UCLA +17 @ California
Winner: California

Game 3: Boston College -4 @ Wake Forest
Winner: Boston College

Game 4: Oklahoma -3 @ Texas A&M
Winner: Oklahoma

Game 5: Penn St. +7 @ Wisconsin
Winner: Wisconsin

Hometown Teams

Go U Northwestern! Northwestern +19.5 @ Iowa
Winner: Nortwestern

Shoulder to Shoulder! Kansas St. +3.5 @ Colorado
Winner: Colorado

Fight on! USC -28 @ Stanford
Winner: USC

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Game of the Week: West Virginia @ Louisville
I know, I know. This game has already been played (I predicted a 38-21 Louisville win, for the record), but it is still the most important game of the week(end). Louisville put themselves in the driver's seat in the Big East, and gave themselves a shot at a national title appearance. Steve Slaton and Pat White did not put forth a championship effort, and that is what is expected from the "greatest" running attack since, well, last season. The Mountaineers proved to the nation that they were undefeated because of their schedule - not because they were the 3rd best team in the nation. Louisville should now be 3rd in the polls - but will need to win out convincingly in order to hold that spot. A one-loss SEC, Pac 10 or even Big 10 team will have a legitimate argument to play in the title game if Louisville finishes the season in unspectacular season.

Upset Watch: Ohio State @ Illinois
If Ohio State is going to lose before The Game, it will be this weekend. A very young and talented Illinois team has been getting better and better as the season continues, and this is their National Championship game. If the Illini can limit turnovers (to zero), and can hang around through the first three quarters, we could see a fourth quarter that gives Juice and the orange and blue a chance to pull off an upset for the ages.

Heisman Watch: UCLA @ California
At this point, Troy Smith has all but won the Heisman. The only way that Troy will not be on stage in New York in a month is if somebody steals it from him. Only two players - Marshawn Lynch and Brady Quinn - even have a shot at doing that, after Steve Slaton/Pat White watched their chances fade to black in Louisville on yesterday. Brady Quinn has the USC game to try to win the Heisman. Marshawn Lynch has Saturday night's rivalry game with UCLA, and his matchup with USC to make a run. That being said, it will take a superhuman November from either to pull off this Heisman Heist.