Sunday, November 05, 2006

Fan Law

Here is a list of Laws that all fans of College Football should abide by while attending games:

Fan Law #1: Do Not Create a Sign Just To Get on TV

(^^^ Not acceptable ^^^)
This rules includes any sign that shamefully displays "ESPN" (or FSN, ABC, CBS, etc) in an effort to get on TV. You are there to watch the game and cheer for your team - making SportsCenter highlights for half a second is not worth degrading yourself with that sign.

Fan Law #2 Do Not Attend the Game in a Costume

(^^^ Not acceptable ^^^)
No matter the Holiday, it is unacceptable to attend a sporting event dressed as Santa, Spiderman or even a Gorilla. Everyone already knows what Holiday it is - we do not need your obnoxious get-up to remind us. (Note: Exceptions to this rule made be made for women - but the costume better be HOT.)

(^^^ Acceptable!!! ^^^)

Fan Law #3 Do Not Sit in the Student Section

Student sections are explicity for standing and yelling. If you do not want to adhere to these rules than go home. Anybody asking fellow students to sit "down in front" shall be kicked in the face. This rule applies to the entire stadium on key plays.(Note: The LONE exception to this rule is halftime - NOT quarter breaks - just halftime.)

Fan Law #4 Body Painting Rules

4A. The fatest kid in the group must be the "O". If their is no "O" in the name of your school - the fat kid is not allowed to paint. Sorry. Here is an example of why this rule must be in place...

4B. The body painting group must travel as a group - we do not want to see "GO ROJANS!" in the front row because the "T" has a small bladder.
4C. If you are going to paint, you must get front row seats. Otherwise you are just obnoxious - and you message could be hard to read or obstructed by fans in front of you.

Fan Law #5 Wear Your Team's Color (Wear Cardinal!)
This means no white, no alternate jerseys (like the gold ones sold in the USC bookstore...those are embarrasing). You do not need to stand out when the cameras pan across the crowd - the goal here is unity within a fanbase. An example of a school that does this well is down in Rocky Top - Tennessee fans at Neyland Stadium make sure the world knows that their color is puke orange.

(Good job Vols!)

Fan Law #6 Do Not Start a Fire(Insert Coach Name Here).com Website and Promote it at a Game
Gameday is all about the players and students. Do not rain on their parade by being that old, disgruntled alum that everyone tries to ignore. These kids have worked their asses off all week preparing for this game - show them some respect and cheer your ass off.

Addendum: This rule now includes not booing - players or coaches - at a game.

Fan Law #7 Do Not Let Jenn Sterger in the Front of Your Student Section

Your school should have at least some coeds that are at least at hot as this publicity hound. Replace her (and her fake....spirit) with real girls that actually go to your school. And guys, she isnt going to sleep with you because you give her your seat.

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